225668

Joke of the Day

"if anne hathaway doesnt say anne hatharrived every time she walks into a room she's wasting a great opportunity"

"Sometimes, just to annoy my Therapist, I'll ask him; ""so how does my lack of progress make you feel?"""

"I just posted a selfie and people told me to get well soon."

"If you love something, let it go. From the creators of ""If you're tired, go for a run,"" and ""If you're on fire, eat bees"""

"Everyone says they are sick of my Linkin Park references... But in the end, it doesn't even matter."

"How many vegetables should you pull out of the ground in one day? None"

"My girlfriend hired a midget to play the keyboards at my birthday party I think she misunderstood me. I did not say I wished I had a 12 inch pianist."

"My wife refused to do anal. She said she had a Boo-T-I."

"What is Bruce Lee's favourite drink? Wataaaah!"

"What's an alcoholic's favorite novel? Tequila Mockingbird I made this up just now... I'm so excited about it."