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Joke of the Day

"Why did the arena get hot after the game? All of the fans left"

"How did the blind girl accidentally get pregnant? As careful as she tried to be, she could never have seen him coming"

"Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells? Because B-shells are too small, and D-shells are too big."

"I was suddenly awoken with a blowjob this morning That's the last time I fall asleep with my mouth open on the train"

"I'm well pissed off with my neighbour today. Yesterday he kept playing the same Lionel Richie song over and over at full blast. I wouldn't mind normally, but it was all night long."

"What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog ? Chump chops !"

"What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator"

"after u die u do the same life again on a higher difficulty setting. more relationships fail and more loved ones die. certain dogs explode"

"My birth certificate was a letter of apology that my dad got from the condom company..."

"Did Abraham's brother have any kids? Yes. A Lot."