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Joke of the Day

"I'm well pissed off with my neighbour today. Yesterday he kept playing the same Lionel Richie song over and over at full blast. I wouldn't mind normally, but it was all night long."

Next Joke
 
"What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust"
"They say real men hunt their food, which is why I throw a spear through the box of pasta before letting it bleed out in my shopping cart."
"""Girl, are you a tree? cause-"" ""no i'm not a tree"" ""..cause i want-"" ""why are you still talking i'm not a tree"" "".. i want t-"" ""not a tree"""
"What fabric is worn in Soviet Russia? Linen"
"Subway is definitely the healthiest fast food available because they make you get out of the car."
"Yelling ""you're not my real ladder!"" at your step ladder."
"Meet Brian, my monkey butler. He's gonna help out around the office. *Monkey flinging office equipment out the window* Brian hates clutter."
"Fact: In a survival situation, you can drink your own urine. Fortunately, my wi-fi came back on just as I was filling the cup."
"What happens when you go to the bathroom scared? A spooky dookie."