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Joke of the Day

"Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike."

"I remember one time when I was high... I asked a cat if it could talk. It replied Me? How?"

"Save some a's for the rest of us, Aarons."

"By saying you want a sandwich after sex you're letting me know you suck at sex because you expect me to be able to walk afterwards."

"I don't know how many girls it takes to change a lightbulb but I fucking guarantee you they'd post pictures of them doing it on Facebook."

"How do you stop a nigger from raping a girl? Throw him a basketball"

"Don't let people tell you that life after college is nothing but being poor and tired. It's 100% true, but it's more fun if it's a surprise."

"Texas. Where the vegan menu item is chicken."

"I have a friend named ""Chris Hoffman"" I asked him to name his son Jack."

"I just overheard my kid muttering ""I'm sorry you had to see that"" to a stuffed toy. It's probably best not to ask what ""that"" was right?"