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Joke of the Day

"I didn't think Miss Hilton could consume all those painkillers at once, but wow! Paracetomol!"

"My girlfriend and I used to argue in bed... I liked to sleep all stretched out like a starfish, and she liked to sleep with a Russian body-builder called Ivan."

"My wife is so much better looking than me... ...that a cashier just put a plastic divider down in the middle of our groceries. Credit: Charles Demers"

"My dad's favorite joke What did one testicle say to the other? Why'd they hang us.... Slim did all the shootin."

"What did the dolphin king say at the funeral of his faithful servant? You have served your porpoise."

"[planning heist] Me: We'll need the element of surprise. Neil deGrasse Tyson: [appears] Actually, such an element does not exist. Hi, I'm Ne"

"Ive decided to run a marathon for charity I didn't want to do it at first, but apparently it's for blind and disabled kids so I think I've got a good chance of winning."

"Why do black folk carry around ""boomboxes""? it's just their stereo-type!"

"I hear Bernie has his own personal knives and forks... They're called cucklery"

"Yo mama so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone."