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Joke of the Day

"By saying you want a sandwich after sex you're letting me know you suck at sex because you expect me to be able to walk afterwards."

"Let's convert our potential energy into kinetic energy."

"YO' MAMA IS SO FAT... SIZES Yo' Mama is so fat, she buys clothes in three sizes: large, extra large, and ""Oh my God, it's coming towards us!"""

"[making small talk at a business function] ""You're 35 aren't you?"" ""No, I'm 38"" ""Oh right"" [long silence] ""Did you used to be 35?"""

"Why do sorority girls travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even..."

"What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning ? An alarm cluck !"

"You know what really grinds my gears? When I shift into third without using the clutch."

"What's the healthiest cuisine? Vitaminese food."

"You - ""Have you seen the clown that hides from gay people?"" Friend - ""No?"" You - ""Didn't think so"""

"Q: Why did the Italian boy want to grow a mustache? A: So he could look like his mama."