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Joke of the Day

"How do you know you have a high sperm count? She's got to chew before swallowing."

"A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder... and the bartender says: ""hey where'd you get that? It looks exotic."" And the parrot says: ""Africa."""

"What's the hardest part about a fat nun's job? Getting into the habit"

"your call is important to us. like, super important. we all bought new outfits for this call. dave is wearing a wig"

"My grandma caught me masturbating and she had a stroke... She has such soft hands..."

"Marriage Proposal In ancient Greece, throwing an apple at a woman was considered a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. This tradition still continues - throw an apple (iPhone5) and she will say YES!"

"So, this guy comes home to find his house was broken into and someone stole all his lamps. He was delighted."

"Did you hear the one about the three deep holes in the ground? Well, well, well..."

"Why does Snape teach options and not herbology? His lily died"

"What were the 2 doctors who worked with Schrodinger called? A *paradox.*"