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Joke of the Day
"A flying insect exploded in my kitchen ... it must of been a jihaddy longlegs."
Next Joke
"""Your place or mine?"" ""But, sir, I just met you. What makes you think I would be interested?"" ""Lady, let's be honest - why else would a 35-year-old woman be at carburettor exhibition?"""
"Welcome to Facebook. Please choose your category: Comedian, Philosopher, Protester, or Drama Queen."
"I miss being able to use the excuse ""I wasn't home when you called""."
"What do you call a counterfeit receipt for a memory consultant? A Freudilent slip."
"So I finally decided to read one of Freud's books today... It's been shitting on my self for awhile now."
"I tried to visit a new subreddit /r/god All I got was ""there doesn't seem to be anything here"". Check. Your move, religionists"
"Lord of the Rings marathon -Do you know what a Lord of the Rings marathon is? -Yes -But do you know what a Lord of the Rings triathlon is? -No? -That's when you watch all three of them"
"[LPT] When cleaning a messy room start with your bed, you will have a better sense of accomplishment when you eventually give up and sob uncontrollably."
"Roses are red. Monsters are green. Just look in the mirror. You'll know what I mean."