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Joke of the Day

"I was approached on the street the other day by a young escort. Couldn't have been older than 13. I was absolutely appalled... ...by her prices. Way more than I usually pay!"

"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? You smell carrots?"

"Man: You've been very loyal but it's best we part ways Dog: I don't understand. What's the problem? Man: Your talking kinda freaks me out."

"Q: What's the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion? A: A chainsaw can be tuned."

"The fact that Americans eat cookie dough and cake batter shows that we can't even wait until it's done cooking anymore."

"What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted people"

"A quick joke... Yesterday I went drinking with the Russians. I almost died. Today I went drinking with some Serbians. I wish I had died yesterday... :D"

"When you try to prove to someone that something doesn't work, it will."

"If you're over the age of 5, and are trying to be cute by saying: sorry as: sowee - I will kick you in your pwivates."

"Do not reach for the stars. They are hot gas, and will give you bad burns."