110035

Joke of the Day

"You seriously don't want hear my next Fibonacci joke. It's as bad as the previous two combined."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? ""argh..."" ""NO, IT BE THE SEA"""

"My poetic look on the election Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Damn it, America! What the fuck did you do?!"

"I got a banging sound system fitted into my car. Might make my job as a hearse driver more entertaining."

"There's lots of reasons to shave your pubic hair as a man... Because it was longer than my dick is apparently not as popular of a reason as I thought."

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet; I don't know why."

"What did the Doe say when she came out of the woods? I'm not doing that again for two bucks."

"What's the difference between dog food and a hot dog? I have no idea..."

"I'm so thankful for my kids.If it weren't for them I'd never know what a cool sound my vacuum cleaner makes when it sucks up Rice Crispies."

"I hate those unrealistic movies where women are friends."