40004

Joke of the Day

"I got a banging sound system fitted into my car. Might make my job as a hearse driver more entertaining."

"Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it."

"What do you call a black guy in a museum? Antique farm equipment"

"*stands near cute dude in store* ME [pretending to be on my phone]: PLEASE doctor, when will I be cured of my no gag reflex problem *winks*"

"Some people have sex to make a baby but I prefer the old fashioned way of capturing a wild baby, and that's how I ended up in jail"

"Jeopardy gum If Jeopardy! champion Arthur Chu started a candy company, the gum would have a locomotive on the wrapper, and would be called - get this - Chu Chew!"

"I got ripped off by a hooker once. Damn fish swallowed it whole and snapped the line, $24.99 lure down the drain."

"It's 2012 and we still don't serve all food in a bread bowl."

"LAWYER: Your Honor, I'd like to approach the bench BENCH: I have a boyfriend"

"What's the difference between OJ Simpson and Stephen King? OJ's truth is stranger than King's fiction."