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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: we need someone experienced, this job will break you... Worm: (slowly breaks itself in two while maintaining eye contact)"

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"[At a One Direction concert] No, I'm not a...I SAID NO I'M NOT A BIG ONE DIRECTION FAN I JUST HATE MYSELF AND FEEL THE NEED TO SELF PUNISH"
"Want to know why everyone loves time warner cable? The loading times are out of this world."
"How did the redneck find the sheep in the tall grass??... Very satisfying..."
"Where is Wallace at? Where is his oscar nomination?"
"How many mexicans? how many mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Juan."
"A Dyslexic Devil Worshipper Sold his Soul to Santa."
"Ebay You have got to love Ebay Sold my homing pigeons 4 times this month."
"Have you heard about the new super-popular broom that came out? It's sweeping the nation"
"[jungle book] bagheera: ""you can't fight him like a wolf, you're NOT a wolf, fight him like a man"" mowgli: [writes a strongly worded e-mail]"
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