10999

Joke of the Day

"Whats grosser then gross? Shoving 12 oysters up your grandmothers vagina and sucking out 13."

"I am absolutely mortified right now. I sent someone a DM to my small business center and TinyURL shortened it to http://tinyurl.com/acockk"

"With all the complaints about iOS 8 taking forever to install... You'd think that Apple would rename it to iOS ."

"Somewhere right now, a girl just uploaded a picture of a place she went to in the past with a caption that says ""take me back </3"""

"How do you know when it's NotTheOnion? When they're still running pieces on Hillary Clinton."

"How do Mexicans cut their pizzas? Little Caesers"

"I tried to come out of the closet by singing. It was my swan song"

"Who is an archaeologist? One whose career is in ruins."

"What do you call wanking in a plane? Hijacking"

"A photon checks into a hotel... ...and the bellhop asks ""can i help with your luggage?"" The photon replies ""I don't have any. I'm traveling light."""