109986

Joke of the Day

"Why shouldn't you play American football with feminists? Because they'll constantly shift the goal posts."

"Did you hear that Tom Brady is running for president? His platform is lowering inflation."

"[talking to my guide dog] this better be the hospital this time and not wimbledon again [from a nearby speaker] ""FIFTEEN-LOVE"""

"Why is Ireland the richest country in the world? Because the capital is always Dublin."

"If she says ""I'm fine"" that means she's fine and you can keep playing Xbox"

"Q; What do you call two fleas on top of a bald head? A: Homeless."

"I was really moved by The Great Gatsby. Specifically, to the theater showing Iron Man 3."

"Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead"

"I like my women like I like my music collection... Large, dark, illegal and mostly unlistened to."

"Did you know Hilary Clinton is an excellent musician? She plays the lyre really well."