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Joke of the Day

"I was diagnosed with erectile dysfunction recently But I'm staying positive because I know it's not going to make life any harder"

"You know what they say about cliffhangers..."

"Me:*shows up to 1st date with giraffe* Her: OMG, can this date get any better Me:*pulls out saddle* You bet giraffe it can"

"They're making a Christmas edition of The Human Centipede It's called The Human Santapede"

"What has 7 arms and sucks? Def Leppard"

"A sign in the window reads CURED MEATS. Inside, a salami takes his first steps since the accident. A prosciutto learns to forgive."

"The Illuminati doesn't scare me They never even kill anyo"

"Is there a mouse that doesn't make a clicking noise as I'm trying to close 10 windows when my boss walks into my office?"

"Give a man a fish... ...and feed him for one meal. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime. Give a man a fire, he stays warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire and he stays warm for a lifetime."

"What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved"