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Joke of the Day

"They say the camera adds ten pounds so my girlfriend only needs to lose about four or five cameras before bikini season."

"Adolf Hitler banned 5k races but sponsored an annual marathon... ...Because Marathons are the master race."

"Most people think it is perfectly okay to recharge a battery. I think it's revolting."

"What is the most faithful insect ? A flea once they find someone they like they stick to them !"

"What's the best day to eat bacon? Fry-day."

"It's greats having your doctor say you're narcissistic. It's like being compared to the stuff of legends."

"To the jogger clinging to the hood of my car: That's why you run WITH the flow of traffic"

"Somewhere in the world, there's a real Nigerian Prince who wants to share his millions of dollars but can't find a beneficiary."

"HR: Can you explain this?? Me: I thought it was CORNhub, with recipes on how to make delicious corn and corn related dishes"

"GUY (whose car died): can u help me? I need a jump ME (pulling a trampoline out of my trunk): im always prepared for emergencies like this"