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Joke of the Day
"What's black and rhymes with 'snoop' Dr. Dre"
Next Joke
"Kids, eat your vegetables. *reluctantly, they eat* [2 hrs later] *I eavesdrop on their convo* Daughter: Unionizing will help us bargain."
"I want to open a sandwich shop in the new Islamic State it will be called the infideli"
"My three-year-old daughter said to me, ""You should go back to college to learn more about being nice."""
"I never warn my wife before I pull the anal beads out.. I like starting the mower on the first tug."
"I think Lady Gaga's next outfit should be made of spaghetti... If that's *pastable*"
"I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed. Or foreplay, as she calls it."
"Now accepting applications for a new best friend. Must be willing to let me put my fingers in your mouth. No Mexicans. No skanks. Por favor."
"I've just invented a perfume made from holy water Eau my God"
"My wife says I was wasted last night and honestly I don't think she's buying my story about having to be naked to guard the neighbors porch."