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Joke of the Day

"Why do all these blurry people keep telling me I'm drunk?"

"X-post from r/jokes: Mommy! I found a $10 bill today, but I threw it away, cus it was fake. ""Oh, how did you know it was fake?"" ""It had two zeroes instead of one."""

"I thought my vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant. But it turns out it just changes the colour of the baby"

"How do you make a Tissue Dance ? You put a little Boogie in it."

"Why did the dog go into the church? The doors were open."

"Just signed up for free HBO, but the terms and conditions were so steep I think I also agreed to carry Steve Buscemi's baby."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be silly, feminists can't change anything!"

"What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven."

"It's funny how the Chinese are competing to win back medals they probably made a month ago!"

"If you accidentally get stuck holding the door for a bunch of people. 1. Relax 2. Accept your fate 3. You are part of the building now"