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Joke of the Day

"X-post from r/jokes: Mommy! I found a $10 bill today, but I threw it away, cus it was fake. ""Oh, how did you know it was fake?"" ""It had two zeroes instead of one."""

"Did I already do my deja vu joke?"

"Almost had an accident due to texting while driving Barely hit send and some idiot slammed on his brakes! Luckily I only spilled my beer"

"They say that when you find a spider in Australia... you hear boss battle music."

"Some people say that The Big Bang Theory disproves God... I mean, sure, it's not the best show, but I wouldn't go *that* far."

"What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ? The letter ""D"" !"

"You don't fully know your own strength until someone tries to pull you onto a dancefloor against your will."

"'I'm really excited about the Pixar cowboy figure I got for my birthday.' 'Woody?' 'Not quite that excited.'"

"I always scroll to see how long an article is before I don't read it."

"How do you defeat your enemies? Chop off their feet."