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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator? A: Step one: Open the door. Step two: Put the elephant in. Step three: Close the door."

"Why do people never eat clocks?.... Why do people never eat clocks? Because it's really time consuming."

"Come this Tuesday I will no longer be a 40 year old virgin. I will be a 41 year old virgin..."

"I'm not a racist but. . . I fucking hate marathons."

"I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn't even lift him. We high-fived & laughed."

"Friend: If Nicki Minaj, Ke$ha, Nickelback, and Creed all died in a plane crash who would you miss the most? Me.. F... M.. F.. Me: the pilot"

"Whenever you're feeling inadequate, remember: You know more about medicine than legitimate doctors during the civil war did."

"People laugh cos I've got 3 cats, but come the next Ice Age, when I speed past you on my cat sled, who'll be laughing then?"

"Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Listening to an antijoke."

"I told a bunch of jokes I learned from Reddit to my coworkers. One of them was inspired to make his own... What do you call a convention for Irish people with flesh-eating diseases? A Leper-Con!"