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Joke of the Day

"Friend: If Nicki Minaj, Ke$ha, Nickelback, and Creed all died in a plane crash who would you miss the most? Me.. F... M.. F.. Me: the pilot"

"I call my girlfriend Dumbledore Because she's the real headmaster"

"How does Rudy Giuliani count to 10? He doesn't; he skips 1-8 and says 9-11 ten times."

"Terry Schiavo's husband might have kept her alive if he was a vegan. Then he would have an all he can eat vegetable."

"That moment when you mom says she was a virgin, but then 3 random dudes show up on your birthday with gifts."

"What happened to Lady Godiva's horse when he saw she had no clothes on? It made him shy!"

"I played dead in the living room to see how my 2yo would respond. He climbed on my ""corpse"" for 5 minutes then turned on the tv."

"I recently traced my family tree... It was easier, I'm rubbish at drawing."

"My girlfriend's body is like poetry... ...It bores me. *I really love my girlfriend, and her body is not like poetry, just so ya know :p"

"A good pun is hard to find, like a good steak... *The medium's rarely well-done.*"