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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between my wife and my paycheck? My paycheck comes once a week."
Next Joke
"Dog: [Barks at the mailman] Human: Bad dog. Dog: [Turns to the camera] My human hates bills, yet gets mad when I try to scare the guy off."
"How did Gertie Gorilla make the 'Playboy' Calendar? She was 'Miss Ape-ril!'"
"What do you call an avocado cut up into 6.022*10^23 times? Guacamole"
"all I wanna do is [gunshot noise] [gunshot noise] [gunshot noise] [gunshot noise] [gunshot noise] move to a safer neighborhood"
"I sometimes miss people I love quite a bit... But my aim is getting better."
"[Working in a hospital] ME: Well, this guy's autopsy is done NURSE: You mean tonsillectomy ME: Uh oh"
"What kind of ant can count? An account*ant*."
"What happens when you join two Koreans together? Linkin Park."
"Movie tickets for 4: $56 Popcorn: $16 Hot dogs: $20 Sodas: $14 Candy: $15 Parking: $5 Seeing the smiles on your family's faces: $126"