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Joke of the Day

"Movie tickets for 4: $56 Popcorn: $16 Hot dogs: $20 Sodas: $14 Candy: $15 Parking: $5 Seeing the smiles on your family's faces: $126"

"What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11? When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way."

"I got an allergic reaction to peanuts. Then I got sued by TheFineBros."

"Trying to grab a stall after lunch as a male. It's a crap shoot."

"All of Donald Trump's wives are foreigners... Turns out there really are jobs American's won't do. Source: Mitt Romney's response to an interviewer's question."

"What do you call Hitler on his birthday? Hightler"

"What is a wok? Something you throw at wabbits when you haven't got your wifle."

"Ain't no party like a Neal Brennan party cuz Neal Brennan quietly resents you for making a mess."

"A donkey had an IQ of 186. He had no friends at all though. Because even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-ass."

"What would be different if men got pregnant? Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay and morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem."