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Joke of the Day
"I know they say that looks aren't everything... But have you ever tried wanking to personality?"
Next Joke
"What do you call a professional tennis player that keeps serving out? Novak Chokeovic"
"The Fifa president, secretary general and communications director are all travelling in a car. Who's driving? The police. Not mine: http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/33099881"
"The secret to my amazing vegan burgers is real beef."
"*Obama approaches podium* Fellow Americans, I like cookies with raisins in them *press starts booing* They're good & healthy *Michelle nods*"
"[at Doctor's office] ""When's the last time you had sex?"" Last night. ""With a male or female?"" Oh...with another person?"
"Q: What is the best thing that ever came out of Arkansas? A: Highway 55."
"Earlier I joked that Toronto was the capital of Canada. ""Joked"" being the operative word. Everyone knows only real countries have capitals."
"Just saw a pirated movie On a scale of 1-10, I'd give a 3.14"
"What happened to the horse that swallowed a dollar bill? It bucked!"