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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can only milk a cow for 10 years."

"When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones?"

"A girl said she met me at the vegetarian meetup... I don't think I've met herbivore."

"Chuck Norris can tell you that he likes Dr. Pepper... with a straight face."

"When someone on the bus wants your seat, what should you say? If you were me, will you let me have your seat? If he answer no, don't let him sit. If he answer yes, you don't even need to move."

"You hear the one about a geologist that was an alcoholic? He found rock bottom."

"Everybody who has played Russian Roulette will tell you it's safe. Well, at least 5/6 people will."

"If Eve sacrificed the whole human race for an apple, have you ever wondered what she would have done for a cucumber?"

"What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple"

"Some friends, a lesbian couple... bought me an antique gold fob timepiece for my birthday. I think they mistook me when I said ""I wanna watch""."