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Joke of the Day

"Nate: ""Hey what's the weather like out there?"" Kate: ""I don't know. I'll tell you when it clears."""

"I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'"

"What do you do you with an elephant with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino."

"What do you call a fish that's worth a lot of money? A goldfish!"

"I'm so stoned........ It took me three tries to turn out the bathroom light. Turns out the toilet flush handle does not control the lights."

"I'm sorry you lost the weightlifting competition. Would you like a pick me up?"

"I know the **BEST** way to get someone interested in something. Actually, never mind, maybe I shouldn't tell you."

"My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..... But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord."

"How does Harry Potter get down a hill? Walking. Jk. Rowling."

"What did the tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate when he bumped into the him? Sorry, my fault."