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Joke of the Day
"Why did the fox cross the road? Cause there was a billion fucking chickens on the other side."
Next Joke
"I've got a quiet buddy who taught his cat to speak. He's a fan of mew words."
"What is Brazil's favorite game right now? Hide and go zika"
"""You can't tell me we going to get tacos, then say we going to do acid instead"" whoever I heard say this on the street yesterday Plz explain"
"What do you get when astronomers play tic-tac-toe? Exoplanets Thought that one up myself."
"What did one dehydrated French guy say to the other? What do we do now, Pierre?"
"You wanna know who sounds like an owl?"
"It's going to be so disappointing if we ask aliens about crop circles and they're just like, ""We hate corn."""
"I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don't have great childing skills either."
"A magic 8-ball would make better life decisions for me than I do."