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Joke of the Day

"My statistics professor is certain he will get in shape this year. He's doing confidence intervals."

"Doctor, I need help. I have a bowel movement everyday at 7. But that's very health, Mr Johnson. It would be but I don't wake up until 8"

"Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It's so fun to watch them freak out!"

"A lion walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave predicting the impending danger at hand."

"What has 2 eyes, 2 belly buttons and 2 legs? 2 pirates."

"My family seemed kinda happy that the rice I made yesterday fell on the floor before I could serve it tonight."

"What do you call a police officer that deals in sibling rape An Incestigator"

"I remember... when I used to be really nostalgic. Those were the days."

"Thinking of having kids? Practice getting small children ready to play in the snow by wrestling a pair of gloves onto an angry octopus."

"What kind of wine do bears drink? Maulbec"