109199

Joke of the Day

"What do businessmen and pedophiles have in common? They're both uptight cunts."

"The Blind Man ""Ah, I see,"" said the blind man as he spat into the wind. ""It's all coming back to me now."""

"My friend said a baby crying is the best form of birth control but there was a baby bawling next door all night & my girlfriend got pregnant"

"What do you call a gay man with a hard-on? Homo erectus."

"difference between laugh and sex Teacher: what's the opposite of laughing? Kid: Sex Teacher: How dare you! And why is that? Kid: Because, laughing haha and sex is ahah"

"Think about the nicest thing anyone's ever said about you. Not really true, right?"

"*sets up booth, hangs up sign ""$5 Mustache Rides!"" *nobody shows up. I knew I shouldn't have named the damn pony 'mustache'"

"Officer: Did u know your back light is out Me: I don't know if you noticed... I'm inside the car. You had a bit of an advantage"

"I'm not saying you started that fire, Billy Joel; I'm just saying that innocent people don't write songs to defend themselves."

"What did the sign on the whore house door say? Beat it, we're closed."