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Joke of the Day

"Happy new year! Sorry, I suffer from premature congratulation."

"My son's soccer coach just said, ""You can't spell ""triumph"" without 'try,'"" and the look my son and I shared will bond us forever."

"Theres 365 days until halloween and people ALREADY have their decorations up."

"You know you have problems when you mentally click a ""like"" button every time you see something that pleases you.."

"What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink? A slipped disk."

"What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead baby? I don't have a Lamborghini"

"For those who've received my unsolicited dick pix: my computer does NOT have a virus I am purposely sending those to you."

"How many guys in IT does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to identify that the lightbulb has indeed burned out, and one to call the maintenence man to change the lightbulb."

"I've never written a first draft of something that didn't make me think anyone who read it would immediately cut ties with me as a person."

"What's the worst thing about Fridays? Realizing it's only Tuesday."