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Joke of the Day

"Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. It's simple meth."

"I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial."

"What's the worst thing you can come across while browsing the Internet? Your keyboard."

"Two blondes walk into a building... You'd think one of em would have seen it! Ba dum tss"

"Two Russian pilots in Syria - Hi, what have you been doing today? - Bombing the ISIS headquarters... - Which one, the main headquarters? - No man, the main headquarters is on the other continent..."

"I think if I was a lifeguard I would just talk shit through my megaphone. ""WHAT WERE YOU THINKING... WHO WEARS CARGO SHORTS TO THE POOL."""

"What's the hardest part to eat on a vegetable? The wheelchair"

"What did they call the documentary about Lorena Bobbit? American Snipper"

"Why do Asians prefer Sony? Because it's a stereo type"

"Did you know President Obama can run around the White House in 11:00? It would be a record, but Bush did 9:11."