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Joke of the Day
"Why do blacks raise chickens? To teach their kids how to walk."
Next Joke
"[Gets arrested] Officer: You get one phone call... *hangs up a few minutes later. Can you turn the radio up? I requested a song."
"5: Mommy said I'm a big boy and can't sleep in her bed anymore Me [sleeping on couch] she's right son"
"A hipster walks into a bar... ...and asks the hipster bartender for a beer. Bartender says - we don't serve hipsters... ironically."
"Your Mom is so fat... That when she sat on a Iphone it turned into a Ipad."
"Two mutes walk into a bar and one says to the other:"
"This year's Oscars are just like Zero Dark Thirty. We know how it's gonna end, but let's all pretend it's suspenseful."
"You want to know a neat trick to get yourself to stop being annoyed by a baby crying? Close the lid to the dumpster."
"English man reaches for his wallet to pay hooker.... She replies ""oh, so you want me to pound you?"""
"ME WATCHING OLYMPIC EVENT: ""Holy shit that was amazing!"" COMMENTATOR: ""Ooh, that was not good at all. He must really be upset with himself."""