151794

Joke of the Day

"Your Mom is so fat... That when she sat on a Iphone it turned into a Ipad."

"Girls are like puppies. If you don't take them out enough, they'll poop on your rug. SERIOUSLY ASHLEY ON MY RUG??"

"Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth? And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?"

"Do you have a turn down? Turn down for what?"

"Losing your spouse can be hard. But it's not impossible."

"What do bees and celebrities have in common? They're both dying at an alarming rate."

"I gave every penny I had to the homeless guy the other day! Now I just have 20 $100 bills in my purse!"

"""Sir u have a hernia"" ""Haha c'mon doc don't u mean a HISnea?"" ""No I meant hern-"" ""Im obviously a guy. How did u even get a medical license?"""

"Tried to borrow some bread from my Indian neighbour, but he said he had naan...."

"Do you like freezing to death and knocking down trees with your face? Well why not book a skiing holiday?"