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Joke of the Day

"1940 I met my first love. 1942 I met my second. Then I met my third at 1948. It's been a hectic evening."

"What do you call a pensioner at a murder trial? A juryatric."

"I read recently that Iron Man is actually a woman. I mean it makes sense, he is clearly a Fe Male."

"What does Mario wear? Denim denim denim"

"I'm so stoned........ It took me three tries to turn out the bathroom light. Turns out the toilet flush handle does not control the lights."

"Rihanna knows that diamonds are buried in volcanic rocks and those beautiful things in the sky are just hot balls of gas, right?"

"My friend Diego lost is id. He still has his ego and superego, the bastard!"

"Summer in Scotland. . . Is the best day of the year."

"Where do fish come from? Finland!"

"If you're hot I'm going to follow you. nnnnJust like I do on twitter."