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Joke of the Day

"I visited Amsterdam this summer, and decided to have sex with a prostitute. It was an overall positive experience. Sadly, it was an HIV positive experience."

"Babe.. [gets down on one knee] I'm [gets down on the other knee] so [lays down on belly] tired [zzzzzzzzzz]"

"A guy and his dog Guy walks up to his dog and says ""I need a divorce"" The dog replies ""yeah, my wife is a bitch too."""

"When the cat sits on my head, my shadow looks like Batman."

"What do you call a chinese food truck? A Wok in the Park"

"A group of chimpanzees walking out of a Banana Republic is called ""disappointed"" Except for Charlie there, who scored a nice sundress."

"What's sadder than a dying puppy? A black child on father's day"

"Some say the five knuckle shuffle isn't a finishing move My girlfriend is not one of them."

"Light a man a fire... You'll keep him warm for a night. Light a man on fire you keep him warm for the rest of his life"

"Where did Jimmy go after the explosion? Everywhere."