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Joke of the Day
"I made a promise to a dying friend... ...that I'd stop making commitments."
Next Joke
"A young woman walks into a pharmacy and asks for some condoms. Don't want to get pregnant? Says the cashier. ""Nope, my boyfriend doesn't want any shit on his cock."""
"Did you hear the one about the guy with no ears? Neither did he."
"Whenever I see a new couple on a date I walk up to their table, hold up my phone and tell the guy ""You're Wife Sarah says hello""."
"Did you hear about the scottish drag queen? He wore pants."
"Two Drums and a Cymbal fall off a ledge... ba-dum chsh!"
"Why isn't suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can get is bronze."
"Two reddit admins walk into a bar [deleted]"
"Can someone just invent a mirror that takes pictures already!"
"I'm going to a costume party as jesus. What are some good jesus party quotes I can use?"