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Joke of the Day

"I went to the doctor to get tested for ADHD... he said I've got it so bad, I have AD Blu-Ray"

"Always have a fake name at the ready so you don't tell the cops something stupid, like ""Andrew Granola."""

"What did the redneck say to the Frenchman? You don't speak English fourchette!"

"what is the height of trust? two cannibals in a 69"

"Why didn't Donald Trump want to play Marco Polo? He was at Rubio's house and was worried he'd get Cruzed."

"Superman can save the world but Clark Kent"

"There's always some truth behind: Just kidding, Knowledge behind: I don't know, Emotion behind: I don't care & Pain behind: It's okay."

"""We met in church."" Lies we tell kids."

"If Anakin lost a limb in II and Luke lost a limb in V, then in VIII Rey WILL NOT lose a limb, because she already lost a Han."

"Modern fast food has a ""fuck you"" attitude that I relate to on a deeply personal level."