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Joke of the Day

"If Anakin lost a limb in II and Luke lost a limb in V, then in VIII Rey WILL NOT lose a limb, because she already lost a Han."

"I regret every fart I ever held in for you."

"Republicans and elections The republicans wanted to have Jesus run for president. The plan had to be aborted though: he had a hole in his hand."

"Did you hear about the new pill that's supposed to turn lesbian women straight? It's called tricoxagain."

"On Facebook, my friend became a fan of Paris Hilton, Heidi Montag and Nickelback. I became a fan of unfriending her."

"I had a nosebleed all of the sudden in the kitchen Now how am I supposed to tell them that my wife fell on the knife?"

"""When a girl says 'Awww Thanks!', it means she's politely asking you to return to the friend zone that you just tried to escape from."""

"Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!"

"Trump walks into a bar.... Because it was set so low."

"I take off my blindfold. Before me is a gory tableau of death and destruction, bodies strewn across the landscape. The pinata is unscathed."