108920

Joke of the Day

"*watching a scary movie* 7 y/o daughter: They're just people in masks, right Dad? *blankets pulled over my head* ""Sure, if you say so"""

"I like my coffee like I like my women.... .....black and with a dick in it."

"Son and Dad Joke Son: Dad, when i look down i have 4 balls. How is that possible ? Dad: I'm fucking your ass, son."

"Woke up late, so I put Red Bull in the coffee machine instead of water. Got halfway to work before I realized I forgot my fucking car!"

"What do you call a fat guy with an unhealthy interest in his mother? Adipose Rex."

"What do you call a Mexican baptism? Bean dip. No offense intended(to get the racial shit stated before I get hit with it)"

"I saw this heartwarming video of baby bears climbing out of a dumpster and thought, ""Who would throw away a perfectly good baby bear?"""

"What kind of room doesn't have any doors/windows inside? A mushroom."

"Lazy People Fact #5812672793. You were too lazy to read that number."

"When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me."