108715

Joke of the Day

"Oh stop it! I'm not superficial. I'm just ficial."

"Girl you got the brains of a seal. Wanna get smashed at the club?"

"[1st date] date: ...you said you had abs me: [squints] everyone has abdominal muscles, Susan"

"Does Axe make a spray that smells like one of those soft pretzel stores at the mall? I'd use that daily."

"Zombies and I have a lot in common; we both walk around aimlessly looking for something to eat."

"I wish I had an old Asian man for a pet. That way I could name it ""Old Yeller"""

"Ordering beef: ""Was this killed humanely? Did it suffer?"" Ordering lobster: ""I'd like to rip this to pieces in front of its entire family."""

"Didja hear that Israel's Chief Rabbi has told Israeli LGBT's that they will no longer be allowed to speak Hebrew ... wait for it ... Yeah - they're gonna have to speak Shebru instead ..."

"A man is talking to his friend... ""Today I got a brand new ford for my wife."" ""Eyyy, nice trade."""

"I went on the treadmill for 30 minutes today. Tomorrow I will turn it on."