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Joke of the Day

"Why do children cry when they find out Santa isn't real? They figured out who has been drinking their milk and eating the cookies!"

"What are the two most important holes on a woman? The Nostrils. So she can breathe while giving me a blow job. *My 10 year old brother told me this today"

"Q: What did the lightbulb say to its mother? A: I wuv you watts and watts."

"Two birds are sat on a perch, when one says to the other.. ""Do you smell fish?"""

"Know why vodka is so clear? Its so Russians can tell it isn't tap water."

"What's the difference between a normal woman and a witch? The spelling Teehee"

"Trumps plan for the wall works. Look at China. They built a fucking wall and you don't see any Mexicans there. Edit: spelling"

"I know the basics of sex... You could say I know the ins and outs."

"What shakes and sits at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck."

"Cut out the middleman and just list 911 as your emergency contact."