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Joke of the Day

"Donald trump and a slinky have a lot in common... They are both useless piles of garbage but they'll put a smile on your face if you shove them down the stairs."

"Jesus and the blind man... What did Jesus say after he healed the blind man? Made you look!"

"Wife: wtf is this pile of clothes doing on the floor? Me: I struck down a Jedi. W: god I hate you. M: yes, use your hate"

"Restrooms now have auto flushes, taps, hand dryers. But isn't it silly that you cancel all that by touching the door handle on your way out?"

"Earthworms will always laugh at a poop joke... They really eat that shit up."

"Eastern Pun So I'm in the habit of watching international TV channels when I'm at home. I've noticed that Dubai's networks don't ever broadcast The Flintstones, but Abu Dhabi do!"

"if eren jaeger is a teenager and he's also a titan wouldn't that make him a.... *teen titan* http://imgur.com/R6lGaGL"

"My Penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records until the library sent me a past-due notice"

"My daughter is such a happy little person she giggles in her sleep, which makes me worry that somehow she's not my biological offspring"

"Cheek of my doctor. I went in for a check up and he said I'll never have kids. I said ""why? am I infertile doctor?"" He said ""no your a fat cunt."""