108272

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. [Currently my 7 year old daughter's favorite joke]"

"What did Bose say to Einstein about the weather? It's 0K"

"(SPOILERS) What kind of car did J.J. Abrams send to pick up Harrison Ford for the new Star Wars premiere? A Hyundai."

"Prisons and psych wards in movies always make it seem like an indignity, but I think it'd be nice to receive food through a slot in my door."

"Two Flies Two flies were sitting on a turd. One of the flies farts. The other fly looks at him and says, ""Hey! Do you mind? I'm trying to eat here."""

"My daughter complained we were out of snacks so I lifted the couch cushions."

"Is it just me... or are circles pointless?"

"I can't diet because it would devastate the local fast food economy, and frankly, I just don't think I could live with that kind of guilt."

"The right man will love you unconditionally, will be loyal, and will always be happy to see you. ... Oh wait, That's my dog. My dog does that."

"Finally getting around to shaving my legs, blow drying them kept taking to long."