108180

Joke of the Day

"[Whole Foods] Woman: MY COCONUT WATER BROKE! *I drive her to the hospital and she names her first coconut after me*"

"[crime scene] *detective snaps pics of murder victim* Corpse: delete it"

"I was trying to make my own joke on Mexicans... But everything I came up with was borderline childish."

"What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog."

"NSFW A man asked a woman ""Excuse me miss can I smell your feet?"" She replies ""why certainly not!"" So the man says ""oh must be your pussy then."""

"In this era of excessive exclamation point use, punctuating a text with a period is the quickest and simplest way to cause concern."

"What's the difference between Trump and a bucket of shit I don't have a shit bucket in my garage"

"What do you get when you cross Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris? Beat up."

"Kidnapping Catnapping keeps you well rested, kidnapping gets you arrested."

"So in 2016 I've decided to leave all the negative people behind. So im sorry if i owe you money because im moving on from that now."