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Joke of the Day

"What sex position creates the ugliest children? Ask your mother"

"Stop calling yourself sexy. The only thing you turn on is a microwave."

"Did you hear about the woman who became a prostitute because she was so scared of being homeless? She was *whore*-ified!"

"Did you hear about the woman who tried to bribe the police with pennies? She was taken in by the coppers."

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Jerkey"

"The bartender says, ""We don't serve time travelers in here."" A time traveller walks into a bar."

"I once saw a slice of toast in a zoo. It was bread in captivity."

"Me and my wife are getting a divorce so we are splitting the house ... She gets the inside. I get the outside."

"I tried ""Netflix and chill?"" on my wife. We're now on season 3 of Gilmore Girls."

"I know a certain right hand that is going to be getting VERY lucky tonight..."