108115

Joke of the Day

"I get my wife the same thing every year for Christmas, a dildo and a pair of slippers If she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself"

"""Hmm, how can I look at her boobs but not look at her boobs?"" - Guy who invented sunglasses."

"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired ( )"

"Can you ""pray away"" asparagus pee?"

"My nickname is Snapchat.... My nickname is Snapchat because I only last 5 seconds and then disappear forever."

"Why is it wrong to be on the left? Because it's not right."

"Let's give it up for grandmas who get offended and scared when they hear the word penis, but have like 12 kids."

"The Past, Present, and Future walk into a bar. It was tense."

"I walked into a room full of men and they couldn't stop staring at me. Oh...wrong toilets."

"I keep a sandwich in a holster strapped to my ankle for emergencies... It's a ""below knee sandwich"""