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Joke of the Day

"As soon as you see the cop approaching, throw the bag of weed in his hands and do a citizen's arrest."

"What do you call a woman with an opinion? Wrong"

"All the workers at the nuclear reactor plant left work. They left a sign at the door. What did it say? Sorry! Gone fission."

"How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie into it"

"Ay girl, your ass must be sitting on F5... Cause that ass is refreshing"

"Fuck. My iPhone added a g to ""sayin'"" and now my black friends think I'm lame."

"what does a british person say to congratulate a friend when he hears they are having their first child after joining a reptile gang? well, chap, you're a propa-gator now."

"Hey, baby, you wanna come back to my place, and become a famous murder victim?"

"My mother always told me if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them."

"I saw a list of what things cost in the 1930s. Great Depression or not, I find it hard to believe people couldn't afford a 20 cent steak."