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Joke of the Day
"If you are what you eat... Then i really am an innocent little girl."
Next Joke
"New career ambition: have an office and big chair that I can slowly turn Bond villain-esquely around in to greet my enemies."
"Why can't gay people drive while they're aroused? Because they can't think straight."
"Let's simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call."
"So Donald Trump was pounding this chick and she started moaning ""oh daddy!"" Then he said, ""I know I am your daddy Ivanka"""
"My boss said to ""treat customers like you treat your mother"", so I haven't answered my phone in a month and I have 74 unheard voicemails."
"Why is Simba slower that his dad? Because his papa mufasa."
"How do you tell if you're a real gangster? Take a blud test [OC]"
"A liar, a murderer, a cheater walk in to a bar... The Patriots must be in town."
"Some of the best things in life...are mistakes."