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Joke of the Day

"'You boy !' called a policeman.' Can you help ? We're looking for a man with a huge red nose called Cotters......' 'Really ?' said the boy. 'What're his ears called ?'"

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"Tried to challenge the guy in the stall next to me to a thumb war, now he's holding my hand & crying about his childhood. I need to wipe."
"You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I'm like that, but with salad."
"""If life hands me lemons I'll be an Arnold Palmer."" - Ice T"
"I've never seen a dick over 5 inches. :/ Girl 1: I've never seen a dick over 5 inches. Girl 2: My friend is a dick and he's over 5'10""."
"What does Sigmund Freud say comes between fear and sex? funf (it helps if you say it out loud, and understand German) :-)"
"Me: Did you know a cockroach can live for weeks with no head? Him: That's nothing. Husbands sometimes go for years."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anthony ! Anthony who ! Anthony you want !"
"Butter should re-name itself, ""I Can't Believe It's Not Polysorbate 60, Soy Lecithin, Xanthan Gum and Other Artificial Flavors"""
"What happens when you provoke an angry redhead? Ginger snaps."