107684

Joke of the Day

"""Welcome to Panda Express"" ""I'd like one panda"" ""Sorry we don't sell pand-"" *slips cashier $100* ""Meet me in the back alley in ten minutes"""

"59 days until Christmas. I better start untangling the lights."

"""It's one of those new Hoverboards!"" 9: Mom, this is just 2 Roombas taped together. ""Don't be silly. Now go vacuum...I mean play upstairs"""

"Hear about cannibal... ... who was ate before he was seven?"

"Where did the team get there uniforms? New Jersey"

"Why were the police ever issued with pepper sprays? Surely this will lead to the creation of more seasoned criminals."

"What do you get when you cross a railroad with a refrigerator? Killed."

"GEEK BOOTY CALL... FRESH AIR You're a breath of fresh air, just like my asthma inhaler!"

"Being great in bed is like being attractive or smart. The more you talk about it, the less I believe it."

"Q: How many Poles does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!"