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Joke of the Day

"""Welcome to Panda Express"" ""I'd like one panda"" ""Sorry we don't sell pand-"" *slips cashier $100* ""Meet me in the back alley in ten minutes"""

"I put the SEXY in Dyslexic. Deal with ti"

"Honey, can we skip that wedding this weekend? ""What? Why?"" It sounds boring and there's no way that couple makes it.. ""It's OUR wedding!"""

"if ur fighting with your bae but sleepy, write what you're mad about on a piece of paper so u can continue in the morning"

"My One A Day multivitamins actually have directions on the bottle - ""Take one multivitamin daily."" Hmmm"

"Knew a guy who wore a shirt that just said ""hentai"" to work knowing his boss couldn't write him up without admitting he knew what hentai is"

"TIFU by accidentally playing music off of my neighbors speakers. Whoops, wrong sub."

"A young burn victim gets new eyelids made from his foreskin! Doctors say he will be a little cockeyed."

"How long is a chinese name"

"What's the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bubble bath? The girl in church has her soul full of hope..."